Competition
by DrawMeASheep
Summary: Because writing fic is better than studying. Postish ep for South by Southwest. McGee finds he's not the only military criminal investigative author on the block.


Disclaimer: Bring me a graham cracker and I'll pretend _you_ own NCIS. Bring milk and you also get a (imaginary) cuddly baby bunny.

Spoilers: _South by Southwest_, a little. And anything McNovel-related, with specific ones for season 5 in general and _Cover Story_ specifically.

Summary: McGee finds out he's got some competition in the novel business.

* * *

McGee waited until he was sure the elevator doors were closed before switching to a different window on his computer screen. It would take Gibbs at least five minutes to get his coffee and return, giving McGee ample time to check on what Lyndi Crawshaw had emailed him earlier that day. Clicking on his personal list of bookmarks, he selected the third from the top – the Amazon page for _Deep Six_. Scrolling down, he was alarmed to find he had lost half a star on his rating. How had he gone from four and a half to four in only a week?

Glancing over the top of his computer monitor, he tried to be subtle about tilting it closer. The single star reviews had been the ones to shoot up, that was for sure. After a few deep breaths, he clicked, rapidly scanning phrases like 'childish in comparison' and 'put to shame' and… "Consists only of cardboard cutout characters that could never function in the real world?" he muttered, unintentionally reading the last part of the third review aloud.

"That does seem a bit rude," he jumped at Ziva's voice in his ear, "especially given how _realistically_ you attempted to portray your characters."

"Email from the evil editor?" Tony asked, sidling up on his other side. "Aw, _Deep Six _falling off the bestseller lists into the boxes of ten for a dollar paperbacks at yard sales?"

"Been doing a lot of second hand shopping since your IOU got called in?"

Tony immediately drew back a step. "You'd think a jerk who inherited a whole freaking estate would be willing to let the little things slide, especially with family." He adjusted his tie. "We're working out a payment plan. Doesn't explain why you're suddenly so interested in what the fans are saying about you. I mean Thom-you, not Tim-you."

"Perhaps it has something to do with these _Shadow Games_ that many of the displeased reviewers mention." McGee wrestled the mouse out of Ziva's hand and returned to the page the displayed some of his many, _many_ glowing reviews. Her elbow dug into his shoulder as she leaned on it. "_Shadow Games_. Something you recognize, McGee?"

"BALCO scandal." Tony volunteered. "Steroids, Barry Bonds…"

"That was _Game of Shadows_." McGee reluctantly selected his fourth bookmark from the top. "_This_ is _Shadow Games_, a new crime thriller by N. Noah Mills."

He cringed as Ziva read from one of the official reviews, "When an Army lieutenant is found dead at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, US Army CID investigator Wallace Sandford and his team are in a race against time to uncover the significance of the name on the rubbing found with the body, discovering a conspiracy that reaches to the highest levels of command and forty years back into time. In a taut, creative plot full of unexpected twists, _Shadow Games_ provides a fascinating look into the world of the Army's Criminal Investigative Division. Fans of Gemcity's _Deep Six_ will thrill to this similarly paced adventure that will have you guessing all the way to the final chapter." She finally leaned back, relieving the pressure on his shoulder. "That all sounds very complimentary."

"Of course it does! That's what the people who want to sell books are saying!" It was Tony's turn to push McGee out of the way. His view of the screen was completely blocked when Tony and Ziva closed ranks. "See, you have to go to the uninhibited raw responses if you want a little honesty, my ninja. Let's see what the McPeons, whose opinions McGee cherishes, have to say about _Shadow Games_ versus _Deep Six_."

McGee was able to hold his tongue for the first thirty seconds of mock-groans and laughter before interrupting, "Okay, you two have had your fun. Could we get back to work before Gibbs comes back and says something?"

"But then how would we know about the cameo in _Shadow Games_ from a character who…" Tony leaned forward to quote one of the reviews, "Here we go, 'Archer reads like Tibbs from _Deep Six_, if Tibbs wasn't written from the perspective of a hero-worshipping idolizer.' Ouch. Although I gotta say I didn't really get that from _Deep Six_, though I was admittedly distracted by some of Lisa's Tommy-related fantasies." He waited until he'd gotten the predictable eye-roll from Ziva before turning to McGee. "Have I ever questioned you about your surprisingly graphic descriptions about how broad and manly you find my chest and shoulders?"

"It's what Lisa thinks of Tommy's physique," McGee corrected, "and I hardly think it's relevant."

"Especially since I do not find you terribly muscular," Ziva added, patting Tony's chest. "It is strange how nearly all of the people who have reviewed _Shadow Games_ feel the need to mention how much better it is than _Deep Six_."

McGee frowned. He'd gotten through the first three chapters of _Shadow Games_ before being overcome by the uncomfortable feeling that it was better than anything he'd written – not that he would admit it to his co-workers, but… "I think they just mention it because the official review does."

Ziva didn't seem to notice his hesitation. "When does _Rock Hollow_ come out?"

"It doesn't. After everything that happened, I decided it was best to just start from scratch."

"And how's _that_ going?" Tony asked.

"All right," McGee lied.

"Good. I may need to consult you about a little loan when it does."

"Tony…"

"Forget it." He threw up his hands and walked back to his desk. "Replenish the wardrobe, replace the Porsche with this year's model…"

"His new novel has not even been published yet!" Ziva said, following Tony.

"And I don't want to hear about it when it does," Gibbs said as he strode back into the bullpen.

McGee was surprised when, about an hour later, Gibbs dismissed Tony and Ziva. "McGee, hold on a second."

He swallowed hard. "I shouldn't have been reading book reviews at work. It won't happen again, boss."

"Did I say anything?"

"No, but…"

"_Shadow Games_ was pretty good." McGee had the odd sense that he was about to be accused of having a second pseudonym when Gibbs continued, "Make your next one better. Don't let CID make us look bad."

"I'll do my best."

"Uh-huh."


End file.
